Broken Angel
by SpecialAgentLeonie
Summary: (Pre-Series) When a friend calls Gibbs to go for a drink with in a bar he likes, Gibbs is surprised when entertainment makes him question if he even knows his Senior Field Agent. (Two-Shot)
1. Chapter 1

**_I just came across the song and listened it and BAM! there was a short story. it won't be longer then two chapters so the next chapter should be up real soon._**

**_Hope you enjoy the story! :)_**

* * *

The ringing of his phone made Gibbs lay down the sander and dust of his hands off on his pants. He went over to the workbench and sat down on one of the saw horses. He picked up the phone from his work bence and looked at the called I.D.

''Yeah, Gibbs'' He answered the phone.

''Jethro!'' The male voice on the other side of the line was light and carefree. ''You busy?''

Gibbs looked over to the boat in the middle of the basement. He was always busy with that thing, but that didn't mean he couldn't make time for an old marine buddy. ''Depends'' Gibbs told him.

''I wanted to ask you if you would come and have a beer with me in a cafe that has some nice music''

''I can drink my beer here just fine, Collin''

''Really, Jethro. You have to get out of that basement more'' Collin chuckled low in his throat.

Gibbs sighed. It had been a long time since he was out of his basement. Work had been chaos lately and especially the last couple of weeks. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to be out and distract himself with something other then the boat. ''Where?'' He gave in.

''Just around the corner, at my home. They have random performances, but one or two times a month there's this guy that is a magician on the guitar, apparently he's playing today. Wanted to check it out and need someone to come along. Beer and bourbon is great there too''

''Fine. I'll be there in half an hour'' Gibbs hung up, without waiting for a response. He looked at the still untouched bottle of bourbon, then shrugged.

He jogging upstairs, deciding to change his clothes. Even Gibbs knew you can't go to a club or cafe... whatever it was, in a red sweater and gray sweatpants.

**...**

A lot a people in this world have more than one life. Some are bad, like a house father, who turns into a criminal at night, or a normal school girl, who is scared to go home, for some dark reason. But some are good. We are ourselves in both places, we just show other characteristics that others don't know about or we won't tell others about our other life. It isn't a bad thing.

Our second life ensures us that we can let go about things that happen in our everyday life. The worries and problems that we encounter. A second live to let go of feelings we can't no longer bottle up in our first life.

Letting go. Relieve. Tony gets that feeling every time, after he steps in that quiet little cafe, every three weeks. When he's not on rotation to work on the weekend. Just like today. This evening was what he was looking forward to everyday after he comes here. Even though others would think he would do something really different by now.

**''Blue Bird'' **That was what the cafe was called. It was a cafe where people could just drink and talk and listen to talented people, that perform their music.

Tony stepped into the all too familiar cafe. Guitar case behind his back the the strap over his shoulder. The soft radio music on the back ground was pleasure to his ears. He loved it, but he loved something else much more.

He walked in further place. He saw the woman behind the bar looking up at him.

''Hey, Anthony, you're early'' The woman behind the bar called to him as she kept helping the people asking for drinks.

He walked towards her with a smile. Had it been anywhere else he would have corrected and insisted her to call her Tony. But here. Here he was no one. Not Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. Not Tony DiNozzo Womanizer. Not Sex Machine. No one knew something about it. Not where he worked or where he came from. Only Natalie was the one that knew his first name. Anthony. The regular crowd, named him the (Acoustic) Guitar Magician.

Tony didn't mind the name. He just appreciated it that people seem to like his guitar play.

Without any thought, he stepped behind the bar. ''Good evening, Natalie'' Tony greeted charmingly, with a kiss on the cheek. ''Boss, let me go early today'' He explained ''Need help?''

Natalie was the one that chose those people. And Tony... Well, Natalie had a weak spot for him. She didn't know anything about him, except his name, but when he performed, she could just hear every emotion and feeling in the way he sang. She was sad to know that he mostly sounded sad and lost, hurt. She wondered what kind of job he had or where he came from.

''Nope, I can handle these boys'' Natalie said. ''It's your night tonight''

''Yeah. Have some covers and a new song, I'm going to sing'' Tony said, sounding less excited than he should

''Really?'' Natalie's face lit up.

''Uhu'' Tony said nonchalantly.

''You should sing more often, you know'' Natalie commented. ''Would attract more people''

Tony was more for the instrumental songs. Just the sound of his guitar or the keyboard and nothing else, but sometimes he sang too. It didn't happen often and he was always nervous about some he wrote and sang.

''We wouldn't want that, I play here for just that reason that it's so nice and little'' Tony grinned.

''I know'' Natalie nodded. She waved her hand to the door that led to behind the curtains on the stage. ''Go make yourself ready''

Tony nodded and went to the familiar door disappearing behind it.

**…**

''Why did I agree again?'' Gibbs asked when he looked at the front door of the unfamiliar music cafe... club.

''For the good alcohol?'' Collin reasoned. ''Come on I buy you the first one'' He suggested as he opened the door and let his friend go in first.

Gibbs did and looked around. It was a bar and cafe combined. Dark wooden tables with matching chairs. Two or four on each table. A bar against the left side wall, with a row of high bar stools. Two people were helping the people who sat there and two others were walking around, helping the people sitting at the tables.

The cafe was bigger than he thought. It was longer. And at the end, Gibbs could see a small stage. It wasn't big, but had everything that you would find. A keyboard on the right, with a mic. A drum in the middle and more back. A barstool. And standing microphone, for his voice and at the hight of the guitar.

He followed Collin towards the bar and sat down on two empty bar stools.

''Do you guys want to order something, gentlemen?'' The dark haired woman asked Collin and Gibbs.

Collin gave a questioning look at Gibbs, who gave a nod in return. He turned back to the woman. ''Two beers. To begin'' He replied.

''Coming right up'' She said and went to grab them. She opened both bottles and settled them in a coaster in front of them. ''You I have seen before'' she told Collin. ''But you are new, aren't ya?'' She asked Gibbs.

''Yeah'' Gibbs nodded.

Collin smirked at her. ''He's not much of a talker. Collin'' He reached out his hand over the bar.

''Natalie'' She smiled and shook his hand ''You guys come at the a good evening. My best performer is up today'' purposely she didn't say his name. She knew that 'Antony' was a private guy.

''That's why we're here. Well I am. I enjoy the music'' Collin chuckled. ''_He's _here so that I don't feel lonely and for the alcohol'' He pointed at Gibbs, who rolled his eyes and took a swig from his beer.

Gibbs looked around the bar again. It was small and the tables were almost all full, though it wasn't crowded. They decided to stay seated at the bar, you had a good view at the stage and you had your drink instantly.

**…**

Tony took a deep breath as he stood behind the curtains. It was something he couldn't shake off. Nerves. It didn't matter if it was for a big crowd or a little one. If anything, how smaller, the more intimate, the more nervous he got, but that he wasn't going to tell Natalie, because otherwise it had the same effect. This was just big enough for him to have the courage to try.

He now had the guitar out of the case and in front of him. The sling on his shoulder.

''just 4 songs, instrumental_'' _Tony encouraged himself. ''You can do that. You played those a thousand times...'' He continued as he paced, back and forth. Then sighed. ''And a song you never played outside your damn living room and you're going to sing it'' He discouraged himself. ''Why did you decide that again?'' He asked himself. ''Oh yeah, because you want to share your feelings. It's the only thing to unwind'' He replied to his own ramblings.

He saw the lights going dimmed and a moment later spotlights towards the stage. Still people were talking. But it was quieter, like they were whispering.

Another deep breath and then he made his way through the curtains. The whispers submitted somewhat more. He couldn't blame the few who were still talking. After all it was a bar and you talked there. He sat down on the bar stool and rearranged the mics so that they were the correct hight.

He raked his fingers over the guitar once to see if everything was still okay, then cleared his throat and grabbed the mic in one hand.

**…**

Gibbs saw the lights dim from the corner of his eyes, as he leaned an elbow on the bar while he twisted the bottle of beer with his other hand, sometimes taking a swig. He listened at Collin, who came here for the so called 'Guitar Magician', was in a deep conversation with the bar woman... Natalie? What that her name?

The spotlight went on towards the stage and Natalie looked up. ''Ah there he comes now''

Collin turned on his stool and smiled broadly. He had been waiting weeks to hear it again. Gibbs on the other hand stayed as he was and took another swig of his beer, until—

''Hi, everyone...'' Tony said somewhat awkward. He wasn't sure why he was like this here. Maybe because it was another way of asking approval of something he enjoyed doing. ''Just enjoy your drinks and company and tonight I will lead your music'' He announced.

Gibbs choked on his swig as the all too familiar voice came through the speakers.

Collin looked at him. ''You okay?'' He asked

Gibbs coughed, but nodded. ''Yeah'' He wheezed. He had heard that wrong right? He could swear it was DiNozzo's voice he just had heard. He turned to look at the stage and even though the lights were bright, he still couldn't believe it. His eyes went wide as he really did see his Senior Field Agent, sitting there. On the stage. With a guitar?

Since when did Tony play guitar? Gibbs knew that Tony played piano when he was younger. Although the younger man had told him he was forced and that he stopped because he hated the teacher who would hit him with a ruler on his fingers whenever he made a mistake.

He looked around and noticed mostly everyone went quiet to hear the first tunes. Only a couple of teenagers were whispering. They had books on the table so he assumed that they were talking about whatever they were studying.

His eyes went back to the stage as the first tunes were played. And his mind was reeling. It was good... _very _good.

**…**

Tony closed his eyes as his fingers hit the first strings and it seemed like the nerves slipped again as he started the melody from the song 'I'm Yours' by Jason Marz. As the intro almost ended, Tony smoothly added the melody of the words. It went good so far and he smiled lightly as he sang the words in his head.

Gibbs watched him and saw the change. Tony's foot began tapping and the way he played began somewhat more confident. He frowned as he thought about that? Since when was Tony hesitant? The tune however Gibbs was pleasurable surprised. It gave a summer-like vibe. Which was good because it was summer.

Collin looked at his friends and was surprised to see Gibbs looking intently at the one playing the guitar. ''He's good, huh?'' He asked.

Gibbs forced himself to look at his marine friend. ''Yeah''

''I have seen him two times before. Haven't heard a single flaw'' Collin commented, taking a swig from his beer. The music went into the background.

Gibbs held up his hand, as his bottle was empty. Natalie came towards him. ''Another one'' He said. She nodded and grabbed one. Opening it, she replaced it with the other. ''Can I ask you something?'' He asked her.

''Sure'' She nodded.

''He'' Gibbs pointed at Tony. The younger man still had his eyes closed as he played along. ''Does he come here often to play?''

''Uhm yeah?'' Natalie thought about it. ''I think... twice a month. He's good huh?''

''He is'' Gibbs looked back at Tony. Tony really was. The younger man had changed songs and this one was slightly slower and less 'happy' or relaxed.

''He does that everytime'' Natalie stated, also looking at Tony.

Collin turned to her. ''What?''

''He starts off with a happy and up tunes song and along the way it gets sadder and sadder. He told me he was going to sing tonight'' She said sadly, not taking her eyes of the younger man on the stage.

Gibbs resisted the urge to raise his eyebrow in surprised, at the sad expression. ''That bad?''

''No... I mean he has also a wonderful voice. I wish he sang more. It's just... He only sings if he has a new song and up until now, his own songs always seem sadder than any other song. It's almost depressing, but the audience seems to understand it. Mostly it's about everyday things, there's always someone who can relate to it''

Gibbs grunted his reply and turned back to watch Tony.

**…**

Tony played the last notes and finished his second song. He had debated on his third song. But than he decided on. ''Echo'' by Jason Walker. It was slower and the melody was almost soothing. It gave him the time to prepare himself for his new song.

Gibbs, as Collin was at full interest listening to the music. Tony played indeed flawless. He couldn't spot one mistake. Not that he was a expert, but it sounded flawless. And he could feel the emotion coming from the younger man.

Tony was swaying lightly at the music he made. Mumbling the words, but still not singing. He played the song until the end then finished it. He opened his eyes again and soft applause sounded. He smiled lightly.

''Thank you'' Tony said as he adjusted the mic again, then he grabbed a bottle of water that stood next to the mic and took a long gulp. He placed it back down again and spoke up again.

''Now. Last but not least. I know it has been a while, but I decided to play a new song I wrote in the last couple of weeks. I began writing this song a long times ago. Back when I was in college'' He chuckled as he could see some people picturing him as a college kid. ''It's about a friend of mine and recent events in my life brought back some memories about her. And just last week I was able to complete it'' He told them. ''I _don't _hope some of you can relate to it, but if you do, than know that you guys aren't alone. It's called 'Broken Angel' ''

Gibbs frowned at the words. Recent Events? Relate to it? He was still getting of the fact Tony could play so good and could write songs? Apparently he could sing, as Natalie had told him.

He didn't get time to think about it as Tony began the intro of the song. It was soft and heavy. Gibbs saw once again the change in Tony's body language. It went uncertain and nervous. Tony paused for a moment as the melody a changed slightly. Gibbs saw Tony taking a deep breath before wetting his lips, just before he brought out the first words.

''_You showed him all the best of you  
But I'm afraid your best wasn't good enough  
And know he never wanted you  
At least not the way you wanted yourself to be loved  
And you feel like you were a mistake  
He's not worth all those tears that won't go away_''

Gibbs' gut crunched and he frowned at the sorrowfull words. It sounded as though he knew the song. But that couldn't be because it was Tony who had written the song. Damn, DiNozzo had a great voice. He didn't think his Senior Field Agent had so much hidden talents. But then again Tony was great at undercover work. but when was he undercover? At work? Here? When was he himself?

''_I wish you could see that  
Still you try to impress him  
But he never will listen_

_Oh broken angel  
Were you sad when he crushed all your dreams  
Oh broken angel  
Inside you're dying 'cause you can't believe_

_Oh you can't believe..._'

''Wow'' Collin said in surprised. ''That's... sad?'' He looked at Gibbs. Gibbs felt sad, just because agreed with Collin and with Natales's earlier workds. It did sound sad.

''_And now you've grown up  
With this notion that you were to blame  
And you seem so strong sometimes  
But I know that you still feel the same  
As that little girl who shined like an angel  
Even after his lazy heart put you through hell_

_I wish you could see that_  
_Still you try to impress him_  
_But he never will listen_

_Oh broken angel_  
_Were you sad when he crushed all your dreams?_  
_Oh broken angel_  
_Inside you're dying 'cause you can't believe_  
_He would leave you alone_  
_And leave you so cold_  
_When you were his daughter_  
_But the blood in your veins_  
_As you carry his name_  
_Turns thinner than water..._

_You're just a broken angel_''

Gibbs saw the emotion rush through Tony face and if he didn't know better, he thought that Tony was going to break down right there and then. Luckily there was a little guitar solo and he saw Tony visibly compose himself again. Before he began to sing again.

''_Oh broken angel  
Were you sad when he crushed all your dreams?  
Oh broken angel  
Inside you're dying 'cause you can't believe  
He would leave you alone  
And leave you so cold  
When you were his daughter  
But the blood in your veins  
As you carry his name  
Turns thinner than water_

And I promise that it's not your fault  
It was never your fault  
And I promise that it's not your fault  
It was never your fault...

_Cause your just a broken angel..._''

Again only guitar play as he finished off the song. When his fingers left the strings for the last time, he kept his eyes close for a couple of minutes, and the audience was silent, until Tony finally opened his eyes and the small audience seemed to erupt into applause.

Tony took another deep breath as the adrenalin left his body. After a moment he stood up, pulled the guitar to his back and then bowed for the audience. He looked in the direction of the bar, wanted to see what Natalie thought about it. Instead he felt his heart sink into this stomach as his eyes fell on his silver hair Marine Boss instead.

''_Shit_!'' He thought as he swallowed.

Gibbs made eye contact and nodded in acknowledgment. But saw the panic rise into his agents eyes, before Tony all but ran off the stage. Behind the curtains again. Collin looked between the Marine and the singer on the stage.

''You know him?'' Collin asked.

Gibbs considered it for a moment, then decided on the half truth. ''No''

''Then you give away some creepy Marine thing. He looked at you and then he fled'' Collin joked.

''Yeah'' Gibbs agreed. He downed his second beer. ''I have to get back''

''But we just got here'' Collin protested.

''Something tells me that guy isn't going to perform today anymore'' Gibbs gestured to the stage.

Collin frowned. ''Why not?''

''You didn't see it?'' Gibbs asked. ''T— the man almost panicked on that stage during his lost song. Then rushed of the stage as if it was on fire''

''Your friend is right, Collin'' Natalie appeared in front of them. ''He has good observation skills. A. doesn't normally lose it, the way he did just now''

''A.?'' Gibbs questioned.

''He doesn't want anyone to know his name'' Natalie replied. ''He wants this as his escape. A surreal world where he can be whatever he wants to be and let go of any emotion'' She shrugged. ''I let him''

''He seems to have so deep sadness'' Collin commented. And then was depressing him. The Tony DiNozzo he knew, was carefree, always smiling and making jokes. This was another person. At least not the person he had hired just a two ago.

''That he does'' Natalie sighed. ''And this time, it almost caught up with him''

Gibbs nodded, agreeing with more than one thing. He looked up and could still see the figure behind the curtains. ''I really have to go'' He told Collin.

''Okay. Was nice seeing you though'' Collin shook his hand.

Gibbs nodded and made his way out of the bar and towards his car. For a moment he just sat down. leaning back into his seat. he ran a hand over his face then made a dicision. He turn on the car and drove off. But it wasn't the way to _his_ home he was driving.

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_**End of part 1.**_

_**Okay so the song that Tony sang is originally from one of the best YouTube singers 'Boyce Avenue'! Go check them out if you like on YouTube. It just seemed to click. i wanted it first in another story of mine, but i didn't know how to put it in there, so i decided on a separate story instead. **_

_**Who know maybe in future it will come along in the other story as well**_

_**Do you like the first part? Tell me in a review ^^ Love getting those. Feeding my Muse. When she's fed, she's happy and when she's happy, she smiles, and when she smiles... Words begin to flow on my open office document ;)**_

_**-X- Second part hopefully soon!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Hey guys! _**

**_Thanks for your reviews and for the followers i appreciate them. Glad you liked the first part and I promised you the second part soon and yeah... here it is :)_  
**

**_Enjoy your reading!_**

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Gibbs stepped out of his car as his eyes kept focused on the building. He had been at Tony's apartment one time before. However that was almost a year ago, when Tony had been shot in the shoulder for the first time since he had been an NCIS agent. And this building was not the same one, Tony lived in a year ago.

He looked around the parking lot and saw Tony's car parked meters ahead of his. He shook his head. If he had known... well remembered that Tony had moved then he would been here before the younger man. Now he had been standing in front of the wrong people when he went to the apartment Tony lived in.

Gibbs did have had an address change from the Director. Just a couple of weeks after Tony returned to work full duty, it had been changed. He didn't think much about it. Now as he looked at the building he was thinking that maybe he should have asked for a reason.

Not that the building was worse. Just the opposite actually. This building was new and modern, while the other one was old and Gibbs doubted that the heating worked in the winter of the airco in the summer. He looked down at the sheet of paper in his hand. The apartment number was written on it.

He went for the building and was lucky that people came out of the building and held the door open for him, without question. He nodded a thank you and stepped inside.

He was met with a warm red carpet over the dark wooden floor, leading to a big elevator. He clicked the button and waited several seconds before the doors opened for him. He was alone. Again Gibbs looked at the sheet of paper. Number 125... He looked over the panel in front of him and saw that No. 125 was the top floor. The loft to be exact. He raised a eyebrow but tapped the button.

The annoying elevator music ringed in Gibbs ear. Even when then doors opened again and he stepped out. It was a small hall with only one door. He didn't know what to expect, so he just knocked and waited.

A buzzer sounded and the door unlocked by itself. Gibbs frowned but opened the door further. Looking around he closed the door silent behind him.

''Beer or coffee, Gibbs?'' Tony called out from behind a wall, the place sounded hollow.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow in surprise. ''Uh coffee. Have to drive home later tonight'' He called out.

''Okay. Make yourself comfortable, I'll be right out''

Gibbs nodded, not realizing that Tony couldn't see it. He pulled off his jacket and found a coat rack on his right.

Once his coat hung, he looked around himself and his jaw all but dropped as he finally took it in.

The place was very open and modern styled . The place had a dark wooden floor and gray to silver walls, with here and there big pictures of sea side or a big city. On his left it had a black L-shaped fabric couch with a dark wooden rectangular table and a flat screen TV on the wall of the door. A thick gray woolen carpet underneath and around the coffee table. Underneath the TV was a big TV cabinet, filled with DVD's. neatly placed.

Between the wall of the door and the wall that he supposed separated the living room with the kitchen, were only big windows that were one storey high and it looked out over the city. It had light apparent curtains, that you could look throught from the inside, but from the outside you wouldn't see anything.

On his right was a oval dining table in the same style of the coffee table. With four fabric chairs in the same style as the couch, but in the color of the carpet.

A little further the floor went up three steps. On the side of the living room was a big wall and Gibbs guessed that the kitchen was behind it and on the side of the dining room a black grand piano was placed transversal, looking into the dining and living room. Also that wall had one storey high windows, the same curtains.

In the middle of the room, a stairs came from the second floor and melted into the little steps. The space above the kitchen and the piano was open and you could see it was used as a sleeping space. The roof itself was a gabled roof, but above the bed it was a big window looking out in the air.

Gibbs never had seen such a place. It was— ''Wow'' He breathed in amazement.

Tony came around the wall and down the few steps with two mugs. He had already changed in a OSU t-shirt and sweatpants and white socks.

''Nice isn't it?'' He asked. He handed a mug to Gibbs.

''How did you know it was me?'' Gibbs asked instead, accepting the mug.

''I expected you to be here, before I got home'' Tony reasoned. He walked to the living room, while taking a gulp of his coffee and sat down on the couch in the corner with footstool on it. Gibbs followed him and sat down on the other side.

''Drove the wrong way'' Gibbs told him the half truth. Tony smirked and nodded in understanding that Gibbs drove to his old address.

''What I don't know is, why you are here'' Tony said, tilting his head in question.

''I just'' Gibbs frowned. Why was he here? Why did he have to 'talk' to Tony for discovering that he played in a bar? It wasn't like it was against any rules or something.

''Wow... Leroy Jethro Gibbs loss of words'' Tony chuckled. ''That's new''

''Tony—''

''Why were you in the bar tonight?'' Tony asked

''I just went there to have a beer with a friend''

''So you didn't spy on my?''

''What?! No'' Gibbs defended. ''Did you thought I was?'' Tony shrugged, taking another gulp of his coffee. ''You play beautiful''

Tony's smile was small and hidden behind his mug. ''Thanks''

''Why didn't you—''

''Why didn't I tell you?'' Tony asked for him. All that Gibbs do was nod, shocked by the annoyed tone in Tony's voice. ''Because I don't want others to know''

''Why not?'' Gibbs frowned again.

''Because... because It's not their business'' Tony told him truthfully.

''You can say that again'' Gibbs mumbled as he took a gulp of his own coffee, ignoring the fact that Tony had made his coffee like he loved it.

''I knew you were coming here, because you are too stubborn to just let it rest'' Tony said. ''Why do you want to know everything about your coworkers?''

''I have to know the person who I'm working with''

''And you don't know me?''

''No!'' Gibbs snapped frustrated. ''The man I work with is not the same person I saw tonight, DiNozzo''

''You're right, Special Agent Tony DiNozzo is not the same as Anthony or the Guitar magician'' Tony retorted. ''But they're both me, Gibbs and what I do in my time after work is none of your God damn business!''

''Why are you mad because I saw you?'' Gibbs asked, narrowing his eyes.

''Because you weren't supposed to'' Tony exclaimed. He placed the mug on the coffee table and began to pace along side the windows in the living room. ''It's personal, nobody's supposed to see or hear it''

''Why not?'' Gibbs asked. ''I didn't figure you for a uncertain little boy on stage. You were nervous and scared up there. Yet you still do it? For how long now? Why don't you want friends to see it, while you perform to people you don't know?''

''That's just it. I don't know them. They don't know me. I rather share my feelings with people who don't know me, who have nothing to do with my work, then with my friends or coworkers'' Tony explained.

''Why?'' Gibbs asked yet again.

''Because people who don't know me, can't hurt me!'' Tony raised his voice. Then fell silent. He stopped pacing and rubbed his forehead. Why the hell had he just said that?

Gibbs opened his mouth and closed it again. ''You think...'' He paused, then began again. ''You think I would use it and hurt you with the information that you have an amazing voice and can write a great song?''

''Yes! no...'' Tony stammered ''Those songs are personal. Without lyrics but especially with lyrics. If people know what I sing about... they have stuff to hurt me with. The risk that people there are going to use it against me is much less, than when people I know, know what I sing about''

''But me?'' Gibbs pointed at himself skeptically.

''I shouldn't have said that'' Tony sighed. ''I freaked out earlier, because I saw someone who knows me. Hell you know me the best as far as I know. And that song...'' He trailed off.

''Recent events...'' Gibbs whispered, as he got the clues together. ''The case'' He looked at Tony who nodded affirmative.

The latest case had effected Tony hard. Gibbs knew that, but he didn't know why. He had seen Tony struggle through it. Almost lost his temper more than a couple of times. He was almost forced to pull the younger man from the case, but he didn't. And the days after that, Tony seemed to get better again. As if nothing had happened.

The case, was about a teenage daughter of a Corporal that had been killed due of alcohol intoxication. It was on a party and friends brought her home that night, thought she just had passed out. Later it revealed that she had more than just passed out, but her friends were to drunk themselves to realize that. Her parents had found her in her bed the next morning. Already dead for several hours.

Although the reasons were different, Tony had related that towards a certain period in his life.

''Why did the case effect you so much? It was accidental'' Gibbs said.

This time Tony rubbed the back of his neck and went to sit down on the couch again. ''We didn't know that at first, when we came into the room. We didn't know that until her so called friends decided to come clean five days later''

''How do the song and case relate to each other?'' Gibbs asked. ''You just finished the song now didn't you?'' He remembered from earlier.

Tony nodded. He puffed out some air. ''Dammit Gibbs. This is why I write songs. So I don't have to talk''

''Sometimes it's nice to have someone to say something back'' Gibbs told him.

It was silent for a couple of minutes as Tony drank his coffee. Gibbs did too, waiting, knowing that Tony would talk.

''The song was just finished a couple of days ago, but I started writing it when I was sixteen years old'' Tony began. ''I went to school in New York. A Military boarding school. Our classes were mixed and that year we had a new girl in my class. We became friends. But she was closed and didn't talk much about herself''

Gibbs waited patiently. He knew about the school and it had surprised him, but didn't say anything about it.

''It wasn't long after we became friends that I noticed... that things seemed off'' Tony continued. ''Once in a while she went home in the weekends... but it wasn't until a year after we met, that I couldn't let my gut feeling go anymore. She went home for a few weeks that summer and came back with huge bruises. She couldn't hit it because we had a heat wave that summer. And it would be weird to wear long sleeve shirts''

''I seemed to be the only who talked to her about it and at first she told it was because she played sports with her older brother... I found out she didn't have one, so I kept pressing until she told me the truth about her father would become... a little rough when he had too much to drink. Which was more often then not. She told me everything and I couldn't do anything about it. I had to get it out somehow so I started writing the song...''

Gibbs had listened closely to Tony's story. Trying to keep his face from showing the emotions were reeling in his mind.

Tony took a deep breath. ''Two months later, she went home unexpectedly for the weekend again, but never came back. During first period the principal came into the classroom. She had killed herself, by downing three whole bottlesof her fathers collection, don't know which alcohol, I didn't care and it didn't matter. She was gone and I felt like I was too late. So I stopped writing'' He stopped.

''Until, the case came up'' Gibbs finished. ''And you finished it for her, after all those years''

''Yeah'' Tony nodded.

''That's why you never touched alcohol'' Gibbs realized. In the two years he had known his agent, he had never seen Tony with alcohol. He had talked about girls and parties, but he had never come in with a hang over or talked about the drinks on the party.

''Yeah'' Tony nodded again. ''Those songs are really personal and I can't normally talk like I did just now. I never do. And the performing is to get away from all the stress of being who I am, well who I show who I am. I don't want people to know what effect me, what makes me weak or where you can hrt me with. With playing music or singing I can let things out without telling people. Then you showed up... and I just freaked''

Gibbs nodded now too. ''I understand that. Maybe that's where I use the boat for now'' He thought about it. ''I am alone so I talk to myself''

''But the songs are not only about her. The job comes with a lot of stress and stressful knowledge. I write music about that, but when something really effects me, I sing... And this one effected me more than any case had in years'' Tony explained.

''I am known for my bad timing, out of work'' Gibbs shrugged.

It made Tony smile a little. ''So it's not that the person you saw there isn't me. It's just a part of me that I don't want much people to see. Those are my weaknesses and my vulnerability. I hope you can understand that'' He looked hopefully at Gibbs.

Gibbs grunted. ''Does that mean that I have to pretend I don't know this about you? Does it bother you that I know?''

Tony was silent for a moment. ''The more people who know, the bigger the chance it that people who can use it against me know. Just don't tell anyone please?''

''I won't tell'' Gibbs vowed. He knew better then anyone how it felt like, knowing that people know something about you that makes you feel weak and vulnerable.

Next to that, he wanted to ask Tony, how the hell he got a place like this, or how he had learned to play the guitar and maybe that piano so brilliantly, but knew that the younger man was talked out for the night, so he kept in on the one subject.

''Were you and she...?'' Gibbs trailed off.

Tony smiled shyly, but it faded. ''No'' He said sadly. ''She never knew how I felt about her'' He suddenly stood up and jogged upstairs.

Gibbs stayed on his place on the couch. He heard Tony move upstairs, little doors or drawers opening and closing, as if Tony was looking for something.

A moment later Tony came back with a big book. Looking closer he saw it was a year book. Tony sat back down and flipped through pages. Then stopped on his class.

Tony pointed at one of the pictures and Gibbs' heart almost stopped, when he saw what she looked like. A beautiful young teenage girl, with red wavy hair and green eyes. For a moment he flashed back to his own girls. But he wasn't ready to share that fact. Maybe someday.

''What was her name?''

''Scarlett Miller'' Tony smiled. ''She was sixteen. Passed away a month before she turned seventeen''

''She was beautiful'' Gibbs commented.

Tony sighed. ''Yeah, she was'' He agreed. ''The most beautiful girl I had ever seen''

Gibbs made a note to himself that maybe Tony was someone he could share things with too. The younger agent had gotten under his skin in the two years time, any of his former agents could. Even Burely.

Gibbs had convinced Tony to open up to him a little and he hoped that someday he could return the favour.

''Like an angel'' Gibbs said softly, remembering he called Kelly that sometimes.

''Yeah, a angel'' Tony just as quietly, as he kept staring at the picture. ''But a broken angel''

**THE END!**

* * *

_**Thinking about some other stories that Abby finds out and later McGee and Kate and Ziva and Ducky. Not sure yet. **_

_**What did you think of this short story? I know its sad. but somehow i always write something sad. not that I like people suffering or being in pain or to die. but yeah... it's drama for a drama serie ;)**_

_**Tell me your thoughts! And thank you for reading :)**_

_**-X- Leonie**_


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